Help for a friend attending a Seafood Festival…

So King of All Fashion has been quiet lately.  I’ve been toiling all summer preparing my looks for the fall season.  But, I’m happy to announce, I am now officially back to help a good friend with a major fashion emergency.  Check out what CityCynic hit me with today: Dear King of All Fashion, I […]

Bitness Casual

My boy Fast Eddie recently sent me the following plea for assistance: King: I’m have a breakfast tomorrow calling for business casual. None of these looks work for me Any tips? My friend, I am here to help. Lets begin by dissecting the phrase “Business Casual”. Business comes from the latin root word “Businea”, […]


Check me out, this shirt is on FIRE!  Don’t worry, it’s not really on fire, it just has awesome flames embroidered on it.  This is a totally hot look suitible for the club, but be aware you may have to explain to the doorman that the flames are not real, and there is no real […]

Thoughts turn to warmer fashion.

Spring is nearly upon us.   Time to start thinking of what sort of look we’re gonna rock for the spring and into the summer. When you’re built like me, you jump at the chance to wear something without sleeves.  Not to be confused with the “Hardlegger Shirt” which we’ll be detailing in a future post, […]

Be the Bear

Ok, so we’ve discussed accessorizing with live animals, now we’ll look at actually BECOMING an animal yourself.  It may seem like a drastic measure, but nothing draws attention to oneself more than dressing up like a wild animal.  It may seem strange to the faint-hearted, but trust me, this spring, this look is going to […]

Live Accessorization

While we’re on the topic, I cannot stress enough the impotence of adding accessories to your ensemble.  Accessories are like extra credit in the fashion world, and really show people you know how to flaunt your look. Many people ask me “Accessories seem to be sort of limited, I mean what kind of new spin […]

Mustaches are the ultimate accessory for mature people.

Listen up because I’m about to drop some knowledge. Mustaches are not funny.  Mustaches are not ironic. If you are one of these frontin’ ass posers wearing an “ironic” mustache, you probably need to reevaluate your life, because you aren’t going to amount to anything (tip Lopo). I know this because I respect the mustache, […]

Dragons and Chains

Ok, this is a bit of a “Hardlegger” look.  I often dress in an outfit like this when I need to command lots of respect. If you want people on the street to be intimidated by your style, you cannot beat a shirt with a dragon on it.  And guess what you bastards, this shirt’s […]

I am the King of all Fashion

You better know that I’m the King of all Fashion. What does that mean to you?  Stick around and you might learn something. Consider me a life coach. Confidence, it’s all about confidence. It’s hard being the King of all Fashion, but someone’s got to do it. Better know that.