Help for a friend attending a Seafood Festival…

So King of All Fashion has been quiet lately.  I’ve been toiling all summer preparing my looks for the fall season.  But, I’m happy to announce, I am now officially back to help a good friend with a major fashion emergency.  Check out what CityCynic hit me with today:

Dear King of All Fashion, I am attending a Maritime Seafood & Music Festival tomorrow and I don’t know what to wear to fit in. Can you help?

Can I help! Of course I can, you’ve definitely come to the right place buddy, I got you covered.  Check this out.

First, remember this is going to be a Maritime event, and you know that means that all these high-society nautical types are going to be there.  You MUST show them that you belong.  I doesn’t matter how many dry martini’s and orders of Clams Casino you partake of, if you don’t have the look, you will not get the respect.

So first, what you want to do is get yourself a nice sailor cap.  Now, I know what you’re thinking, “sailor cap!?”, but you have to remember, these people all own boats and shit.  They sail ALL the time.  A sailor cap is going to show them that you have the skills to tie a bowline, rig a main-sail, and never confuse starboard with port.

Now, I’ve paired the sailor cap with a nice sea-themed neck scarf and a white silk Hawaiian shirt, also very ocean-y.  You’ll blend right in with their ascots and pressed whites.

The next piece of the ensemble is VERY important.  Being as this is a Maritime festival, there’s a good chance you’re going to get wet.  You want to be prepared for the inevitable moment when the richie-riches bust out the Slip-n-Slide (and trust me they will, I’ve been to these sorts of things before).  So I’m suggesting some sensible neoprene wet-suit pants, such as these.

To finish it off, we could of gone with some boat shoes, but I prefer the traction and fresh look of some sensible aqua-socks.

Now, lets put it all together so you can see the big picture.


You see? Class, style, functionality.  Award winning look.

Good luck with your event, remember to be confident and trust the Ol’ KOAF, and eat lots of shellfish in my honor.

You’re welcome, KOAF

1 comment to Help for a friend attending a Seafood Festival…

Leave a Reply