Be the Bear


See how much more fabulous I look than that unstylish loser next to me?

dsc00178Ok, so we’ve discussed accessorizing with live animals, now we’ll look at actually BECOMING an animal yourself.  It may seem like a drastic measure, but nothing draws attention to oneself more than dressing up like a wild animal.  It may seem strange to the faint-hearted, but trust me, this spring, this look is going to be all around.

While a dragon would be the obvious choice, it is hard to pull off, seeing as dragons aren’t real, and you won’t be fooling anyone.

The next best choice is a grizzly bear.  I’ve had this bear hat for years, but the hat alone does not make the man…er…bear.  No, in addition to a full ensemble of bear like wear, I must BE the bear.  When I put on this outfit, I become Bernard the Grizzly Bear.  My transformation is so complete, so real, that when I walk into a party, people get scared.  You can see it in their eyes, for a split second, they think to themselves “Holy $hit, there is a F$%^ing bear in here!”.  They look for the exits.  Then better judgment takes hold and they realize its just me, the King of all Fashion, making another fabulously triumphant entrance.

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